Sonic's World Hatred Unleashed
by Player 5
Summary: Sonic gets turned into a Werehog, meets some friends, and tries to save the world by running and destroying things in some major contienents...You can't get much of a summary from THIS wacky parody.
1. That Opening

**Author Notes: Greetings, fellow readers/Sonic fans. This isn't my **_**first **_**fanfic on here, but it's my first successful one (by successful, I mean still posted). Originally, I wanted it to be a one-shot, but I got too descriptive with this chapter. Anyway, this is just a parody for my favorite Sonic game (and only Sonic thing I own as of now): Sonic Unleashed, or "Sonic's world adventure" in Japan. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of this series (I can't stand 75% of the fandom sometimes), so don't expect any other stories about this from me. **

**Disclaimer that I'll add now so I don't get yelled at later: _I own nothing but the words to this story. The game this is based on belongs to Sega and those other people that helped create it_**

**Feel free to leave any comments about what I should do better or what you liked about this. I won't be mean unless you are :)**

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><p><strong>Intro<strong>

A couple hundred miles above Earth's atmosphere, a random fleet of spaceships hovered like a swarm of menacing honey bees ready to sting anyone in their path. Literally in the center of the "spaceship convention", there was a red airship, much larger from the others. Looking at it from the front, it only appeared twice the size of the others. But when viewed from a different angle (the top as a matter-of-fact), it looked more like a football field and a half.

Either way, at the very end of the floating fortress, Doctor Eggman was seated in his "chair" surrounded by his computers and monitors. Actually, I should say he was _almost_ seated in his chair, since he was nearly falling off of it due to his hysterical laughter. Apparently he was laughing at nothing because a bunch of dull colored ships floating in space isn't really something to crack up about. During his hilarity, a robotic voice spoke from one of the speakers.

"**INTRUDER A-…Doctor Eggman, what is so funny?"**

Eggman ceased laughing as soon as the question reached his half-consciousness.

"I'M NOT LAUGHING AT ANYTHING, YOU LITTLE…" He slammed his fist down angrily on the keyboard, to prevent his anger from getting too out of hand.

"**HGVGFXCHVJBVGCJBDCGV**," returned the robotic voice. But Eggman had ignored his computer by that point, for something several yards away from his very position caught his eye. The object only appeared to him as a silhouette; the smoldering flames behind it seemed to consume its original figure.

Eggman squinted until the culprit behind the destruction of his ships came into view. It was none other than: Sonic the Hedgehog.

Knowing exactly what do when his nemesis arrives, Eggman lifted his clenched fist from the keyboard and commanded the remaining ships and robots the attack.

"FIRE!" he exclaimed.

"…**Fire?**"

The shooting came to a halt. Instantaneously, the robots ran around in circles, "screaming"; some crashing into each other, while others accidentally fell in the tiny smoldering fires, and melted. The ships tried putting out the flames, but because their cannons didn't shoot water, it only made it worse. All the robots plunged into the space below the platform; the ones who were still in one piece (or more) were still screaming. Sonic stepped nonchalantly around the mess, heading in the direction of Eggman. Eggman buried his face in his white, gloved hands.

"I swear each plan I make seems ten times better when it's still in my head…" Eggman muttered under his breath. He reached over to press a flashing, green button. He and his seat were ejected out of the window, and landed right in Sonic's path.

"Why you little!" Eggman shouted. "How about **this?**" He swept his hand across the entire keyboard, causing dozens of missiles to be fired out of the chair, and follow Sonic's every movement as he ran, making it almost impossible to elude. The blue blur raced further away from them, which infuriated Eggman.

"Take **this**!" The guns transformed into large robotic hands. One of them rocketed in Sonic's direction and managed to capture him.

"Now you'll get it!" Eggman bellowed. He pressed another colorful button which activated the other hand. Both hands began to squeeze Sonic senseless, but then for some reason they stopped.

"**Oh no!**," the computer cried. "**Did I **_**break **_**him? I thought I heard a bone crack! Is he alright? Oh no, oh no, oh no! I hope he's okay! I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT KIND OF TRAGEDY! DON'T TELL THEM I DID IT! I'M INNOCENT, I TELL YOU!" **

The computer's emotional rant was interrupted by Eggman's fist.

"What are you doing?" Eggman asked angrily. "Why aren't you stopping him? You're a computer! You shouldn't have emotions! Now GET HIM!"

"No," the computer retorted, in a stubborn voice. "I don't _want _to!"

While they were quarreling, Sonic unleashed the power of his shiny, rainbow diamonds…or "Chaos Emeralds", if you want to be technical. Then, he was able to turn into… (Epic pause)…**MUSTARD SONIC**!

…_Fine _then: _**SUPER **_Sonic.

Eggman gasped at the sight of the transformation.

"Eek! Run away!" he squealed like a little girl. He put his rocket-chair in reverse and fled from his _**golden**_ nemesis. _**Super**_ Sonic bounded after him.

It seemed that Eggman was _leading_ Sonic to the tall, thin tower because everyone knows that villains _never_ run away from their foes…although that _is _a very hackneyed move used by most bad guys, but that's just who Eggman is: an overweight, egocentric, cliché, self-proclaimed "villain".

From a distance, the chase scene looked pretty comical, if you really thought about it at least. Think of it this way: a bumblebee is flying casually towards a flower to rest, but somewhere in outer space, an asteroid/comet is accelerating towards Earth, unfortunately aimed for the innocent bumblebee. Maybe we're getting off topic here.

After crashing through several closing doors, Sonic eventually cornered Eggman in the "computer room". Doctor Eggman dropped to his knees pathetically and begged for mercy. But Sonic knew very well he was faking it.

"You can drop the act, Eggman. We've _all _seen it. No one's impressed."

"No fair! You always ruin my fun!" Eggman whined, with a feigned pouty face. He pulled a remote from his pocket and pressed the round, flashing button. "Let's see how _you _like it!"

Sonic heard mechanical buzzing and whirring surrounding him. Laser-like devices rose from all different directions, and there was no place for Sonic to escape. Rings of electricity were shot out to hold _**Super**_ Sonic still.

Eggman resumed his hysterical laughter.

"Yo, Eggy, what's so funny?" Sonic managed to say.

"I'M NOT LAUGHING AT ANYTHING!" Eggy yelled…I meant,_ Eggman_. He activated the lasers, which increased the pain in Sonic's body.

"**NYAN** HAHAHAHA!"

"You're doing it again," Sonic _wanted_ to say, but the high voltage from the lasers prevented him from moving, let alone speaking. He could feel the power of the…chaos emeralds…drain out of his soul (or whatever the emeralds control). The original blue pigment was restored to his fur.

Then, there were a few moments of awkward silence (plus the lasers)…

"So…what was the point of this? I mean, you're just throwing away my super powers. The chaos emeralds are _dead_ now. Were you going to use them for anything…? Because you could've just asked, and maybe we could've worked somethin' out.

Eggman hesitated before answering. "Um…I kind of forget exactly what I was going to use them for…or if I was even _going_ to use them. Maybe it'll come to me soon."

"Okay. Cool."

After some more awkward silence, there came some intense rumbling from outside the large, wall-sized window; all the way from Earth. The continental plates began to crack, and drift apart from each other. An ominous, mauve-colored haze filtered through the fissures and shrouded the planet in…well, _purple_.

"OH! Now I remember," Eggman exclaimed. "I was going to scare everyone away with the color purple!" He paused for a moment, realizing how retarded that really sounded. "Okay, so it sounds kind of lame, but hopefully I'll gain _something _from it."

Eggman averted his attention towards Sonic, as the hedgehog's body began to spark. His fur began to grow darker; the bright, cerulean color transforming into a shaggy, navy, pelt with snow colored fur on the tips of his spikes, and his paws where his gloves used to be. Due to the sudden growth in Sonic's "hands", the gloves fell apart, and his "fingers" were replaced with pointed, fingernail-like claws. Completed with a couple of canine fangs, Sonic the hedgehog metamorphosed into Sonic the Werehog…

Hedgewolf…

Werewolf Hedgehog…

Werehedge Hogwolf…

Call it what you will.

Eggman gazed in awe at his new and improved nemesis, now completely ignoring his _purple planet_. Sonic, on the other hand, was rather annoyed by the fact that he got "the shock of his life" in a more _literal_ sense.

"Gee, Eggman. Thanks for the makeover," Sonic said sarcastically, oblivious to his current state, and assuming he was all charred up by the electricity.

"What are you talking about?" Eggman insisted. "You look terrific! In fact, I-"

Eggman was interrupted by blood-curdling moaning and bellowing from inside the fissures. Two thin, hand-like figures materialized in the purple haze, creeping out from under the plates. Pretty soon, an entire "haze monster" emerged from the Earth's core (most likely), its hands and tentacles thrashing about trying to get a grip on something for support.

"Yeeeessss!" Eggman exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in delight. "I get a lizard monster! I _knew _I'd get something good! _See_, Sonic? I told you, **I told you**!"

"You know what, Eggman? I feel that I need to say this again. Because _all the other times I've said this_, you've apparently shoved it away in the farthest part in your head. **YOU. ARE. WEIRD**!"

"Do you need me to help send you on your way?"

"No! I-"

"Someone's being _grumpy_!" Eggman interrupted in a sing-song voice.

"I will NOT go out there like this!" Sonic growled.

"Suit yourself." Eggman pressed another button to open the window behind Sonic. The Werehog scraped at the floor to prevent himself from being cast out into space.

"WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Sonic yelled. "I SAID **NO**!"

"Lighten up, friend," Eggman insisted. "Here, let me help you." The wind pulled harder at Sonic, and in no time at all, the Werehog was plummeting towards Earth like a missile, screaming (as well as terribly frightened to get whacked by the haze monster's limbs).

"Okay," Eggman said as he exhaled. "Now that _he's_ gone…I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with this lizard guy."

"Please don't hurt me," Rango pleaded.

"No, not you. The _other _lizard guy."

"Don't mind me, mate," the Geico gecko said. "I was just leaving. Oh! but I _might _be able to find you some insurance for this rocket. I mean, it could really-"

"NO! I'm talking about the _monster_ **outside**! All of you; **OUT**!" A large crowd of lizards exited the ship.

The computer spoke out. "**Um, sir? The monster is called 'Dark Gaia'. You said you were going to use it for your…amusement park: 'Eggmanland'. Do you not remember?**"

"Actually, I _don't _remember, so obviously, I have something like short term memory loss or Alzheimer's. Either way, that sounds like a pretty stupid idea. How could _I _have possibly come up with something such as that?"

"…**You said you were going to rule the world with it**," the computer reminded.

"Oh, why didn't you say so? Now, I can understand where I was coming from. IT'S PLANNING TIME!" And with that, Eggman began to refresh his mind of the plan, as well as write it down, so that he wouldn't forget it again.

"See, Sonic?" Eggman called out. "I _told _you I could think of something decent!"


	2. Bipolar Sonic

**Bipolar Sonic**

Because of the wind that pulled him into space earlier, Sonic was being hurled towards Earth at an incomprehensible speed (maybe a bit faster than his running limit). But because there was nothing around him to compare his pace to, he wasn't exactly aware at how fast he was going. But at least, it was enough to knock him out. (I have to say it's a miracle he didn't burn up like _most people _would if they were falling from that height).

About half an hour later, he gained conscious, and looked around…to comprehend that he was only half a mile above some random island. Loosing his cool didn't help the situation, nor did flailing his limbs, and screaming. It only made him descend quicker. He crash-landed hard on his face, and even created a mini ditch in the shape of his face.

"MMHH! MMHH! MMMMPH!" Sonic grunted as he heaved his face out of the dirt and gasped for air.

"Ugh! Dang it, Eggman! I hate you!" The werehog yelled up at the sky. But of course, Eggman was hundreds of thousands of miles away from Sonic's very position, so he couldn't hear the offensive remarks that mocked him.

After spewing a whole mess of unmentionable profanities, Sonic took the time to survey the area. He was on a peninsula, thick with healthy, green foliage, including sea grass growing on some rocks. There were wooden fences built with thin logs, guarding the villas and mighty windmills. The village was clearly visible, even from such a distance as Sonic was; it made it even more of a fabulous spectacle with the rising sun painting red streaks across the white and blue buildings.

Sonic could've cried at the beauty of it all…if it hadn't been for Eggman ruining his cheery spirits (he was still unaware of his werehog form, but something was making him feel awkward).

He was debating on whether he should ask some of the residences where in the world he was. But after a few seconds, he realized he didn't have to decide. No one in their right mind could _possibly_ turn down the opportunity to help out a (self-proclaimed) "innocent, cute-looking, talking blue hedgehog", could they?

Anyway, Sonic continued to look around, just to stall himself. Something, a more obvious color than the grass, caught his attention. There, lying noticeably right out in the open field was a small, burgundy-colored creature resembling some kind of fairy. Sonic reached over and picked it up by its tiny back paws.

He decided it looked like a Chihuahua with wings. But instead of a dog collar, there was a large orb jewel that practically smothered its neck. Sonic gazed deep into the jade, and suddenly felt like he was being pulled into a trance. He shook his head to rid himself of the sensation, and decided to never look into the necklace again.

Instead he tried shaking the creature (or maybe trying to get all the blood to rush to its tiny head).

"Hey! Wake up! You're not dead, are you? You better not be, or I'll-"

The sprite suddenly began twitching and mumbling. It wasn't dead, thank God. It was asleep.

"Mmm…so good…I can't…I'm _stuuuffed_." The creature sighed and continued twitching contently.

"Snap out of it!" Sonic was (for a reason he didn't quite understand) getting a little uncomfortable by just holding the creature…maybe because it was a _male_ sprite.

"Um…food."

"WHAT? REALLY?" The sprite's eyes flew open, as if he had been awake the whole time. His small, tan-colored eyes bounced around wildly, and his white muzzle stretched with its smile. When the sprite realized that there was no food waiting to be devoured by him, he focused on the shaggy navy and white fur in front of him.

His large smile slowly vanished as his gaze found the "end" of the person who was holding him upside-down. He was greeted by a large, razor-sharp canine toothed grin.

"Finally!" Sonic exclaimed, a little _too_ eagerly. "I've been waiting for at least a _minute_ for y-"

Sonic was thanked with a tiny foot to the nose.

The sprite had bopped Sonic hard enough, so he would let go of him. He retreated to a rock a few yards away while Sonic was distracted.

"No! Don't eat me!" he pleaded. "Please! You may be hungry, but I am, too. _Please_! Let me eat at least _one _more thing…" He paused and took a cautious step forward. "…Do you know of any good places nearby?"

Now would've been a good time for a record scratch.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, _**whoa**_! Hold the phone. No one's eating anybody here. What do I look like here? A monster?" Sonic winced painfully as he rubbed his nose. _Is it seriously broken?_

Choosing his words carefully the sprite replied "Um, a-actually, Mister Monster Guy, you kind of do. **N-not** like that's a problem or anything, b-but…"

Sonic stared at the sprite as if it grew two more heads. His gaze moved ever so slowly down to his paws…or _claws_. Sonic jumped back (even though that did nothing). He proceeded to spin in circles, like a dog chasing its tail, to examine his new form. He then found a small puddle, and looked at his reflection, dropped to his knees, threw his hands up in the air, and performed the best Luke Skywalker impersonation a werehog could do.

After that show, Sonic began talking to himself out loud "AHHH! I can't go into that village looking like _this_!" he growled. "Everyone will get the wrong idea about me!"

"Well, you already got _that _down pretty well," the sprite mumbled, so he would not offend the monster. "Sharp teeth, scary hands, evil voice…I wouldn't know what else to call you."

"But…," Sonic began, then muttered under his breath. "There's gotta be a way for me to get back to normal."

"Maybe I could help you, Monster Man," the sprite offered. "Just as long as you don't eat me."

"Listen, man. My name isn't 'Mister Monster Guy'. It's Sonic."

"Oh, okay…HI SONIC!" The little Chihuahua fairy began waving his arms wildly.

"Yeah…hi." Sonic waved back weakly. "And your name is…"

The sprite opened his mouth to reply, but it just hung open. "I…I don't remember…I DON'T KNOW MY OWN NAME!" He began having a spaz attack until he fainted from hunger.

"Geezes, dude, cool it! Look, there's a village nearby. Maybe someone there will recognize you." Sonic mentally cheered himself for making sense with logic.

"Wow," the sprite woke up from his semi-coma. "You made sense with logic. Anyway, that's a great offer, but I think I should be-"

"I'll give you food."

"Never mind!"

"Good, because I don't want to have to defend myself from mobsters all by myse-" Sonic realized the sun ascending from the horizon beyond the sprite's position. An ominous, violet haze (similar to the one spreading from the inside of the planet from earlier) surrounded the werehog and transformed him back into normal Sonic.

"SPIKY!" the sprite shrieked. He pulled up a small handful of grass and tossed them at Sonic, who simply blinked away the blades stuck in his eyes.

"No, man," Sonic said in a calmer voice (so he wouldn't terrorize the poor sprite anymore). "It's me! I'm that 'monster guy' from earlier._ This_ is what I really look like."

"Oh, okay." The sprite faltered to release his grip on a bigger clump of grass. "So…spiky guy's a nice guy?"

"Sure."

The sprite gave him an impossible blank stare, keeping his eyes glued on the hedgehog as he buzzed around him, hardly moving his body.

"Hey, you alright there, buddy?" Sonic spun around in circles so he could keep an eye on the little Chihuahua dude.

"As long as you are…" the sprite replied, sounding as if he were in a trance.

"Alright…so let's get going. We're gonna have to use our time wisely if we want to figure out who you are and what the heck is going on with my anatomy today." As they both started to head towards the village, Sonic brandished his fist confidently in the air.

"And cliché or not, I will search the entire world…and probably end up saving it, etcetera…until I find out the truth to my…um…what would this be called?

"Lycanthropy."

Sonic let out a long, winded whistle. "Long word. I'm going to use a substitute for that. How about…werewolf-itis…or maybe I'll think of something else later."

"Doesn't matter to me," the sprite replied. "I know nothing."

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><p><strong>I'm sorry that I couldn't reply to anyone's review. I didn't know what else to say besides "Thanks for the review *thisface* :D" But just know that I am always happy to know that someone actually thinks my story's decent. And I'm going to try and limit the author's notes unless I need to make a point, explain something, etc.<strong>


	3. HELLO my name is

**Shortest chapter I've ever written. It's a filler now. I was going to combine it with the tutorial part but... **

**Feel free to flame it because I wrote it the same day I posted it (if that makes any sense)**

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><p><strong>HELLO my name is…<strong>

After a bit of walking, the anthropomorphic hedgehog hero of the story and his nameless Chihuahua ally stopped to realize that perception had deceived them.

"I think it's going to take longer to reach the village than we thought," the sprite informed. "We might be lucky if we reach it by nightfall, but I don't expect anyone to still be up by then."

"Well, that'll give me enough time to get used to this place." Sonic began jogging in place while swinging his arms around. "Why don't you help, Buddy, that is if you can keep up."

The sprite stopped a few feet behind Sonic.

"_Buddy_?"

"Yeah…buddy," Sonic then realized what his friend was saying.

"It's a nickname I'm going to give you now," he explained. "Since neither of us knows your real name yet, I'll give you this one."

"But I don't like it."

"Well, what do you want me to call you then?"

"I'm hungry."

"Hm…how about orange? Your fur is kind of orange-ish in a way, and you act like-"

The sprite shot him an extremely bizarre and wicked expression.

"**WH**aaaaat?" He exclaimed putting more emphasis on the "wh" than necessary.

"Um, n-nothing, I didn't mean it like that!" Sonic stepped away a little bit, surprised at his friend's sudden bipolar outburst.

"Maybe I'm thinking in the wrong direction. I shouldn't really be naming you after food."

"I like food," the sprite sighed dreamily, unaware of anything Sonic was saying.

_After several minutes of thinking and awkward silence…_

"Let's see…Stew? Short for Stewart?"

"Ick!"

"Tom? Kind of like **tom**ato?"

The sprite made some choking noises.

"Yeah…I don't like that one either."

The sprite began playing with his ear.

"Candy?"

"WHERE?"

"Pepper?"

The sprite cocked his head to one side, and fell over as he did so.

"Pepper_mint_?"

The sprite stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry.

"Raspberry!"

The sprite shook his head and made the "nuh-uh" noise.

"Flour?"

"…"

"Apple?"

"…"

"LUCIFER?"

"…"

Sonic slapped his hand over his face. _This kid's gonna be _so hard _to work with, _he thought. He threw his hands up in annoyance.

"Chocolate! Chocolate chip! Everybody _loves _chocolate! WILL YOU PLEASE WORK WITH ME? _**CHIP!**_"

Chip whimpered at Sonic's tone. "Okay…Chip…I love it…," he replied weakly. "…yum!"

"THANK YOU!"

And with the name issue cleared up, the two friends progressed towards the village without another word…

For a while.


	4. Loyal Companion my Foot!

**Loyal Companion...my foot!**

So, it turned out Chip's personality was unpredictable; sometimes, it seemed, even his IQ would blow hot and cold. For example, it took no more than ten seconds for the scatterbrained sprite to recover from the recent argument.

"Hey, guess what? I just learned something today! The rocks make funny shapes. The clouds do, too. I think they copy each other, because they're **jealous**. Well, now I learned something else today! _And_ I learned that rocks and clouds copy each other! I wonder if there's a place where I can learn more than three things in one day. That would be cool. Hey, that cloudlooks like a rock! Do you think rocks look like clouds? I bet they could if they tried hard enough. That rock's not trying hard enough. He looks like a rock. Hmm, maybe he's a she. I hope I didn't hurt its feelings. I'll go tell it to be a cloud. That might make it feel happy. Do you think windmills have feelings? I think they're nice. They help pirates and thieves run away from the police. Why do the police hate the pirates? I like pirates. Do you like pirate movies? **I do.** I'm also fond of the color cloud."

Sonic was so close to ripping his fur out, but Chip had shut up in time. The blue hedgehog looked over his shoulder to see what his companion was up to. But Chip was just floating, still as stone, with his back facing Sonic.

Sonic was about to ask why the fairy stopped, but found that he himself could not move. He was stuck in a frozen running position.

"You can press the **A **button to jump!"

"I can _what_?" Before any further information was given, Sonic "unfroze" and collided with the rock ledge that had been in front of him. Then, he began spinning out of control, wandering away from the path.

"What the heck is going on?" He shouted. "Chip, help me. Are you doing this? You better not be, or it'll be the last thing you're _gonna_ do!" But the sprite flew up and over the other two ledges.

"Hey, where do you think yo-" Something suddenly commanded Sonic's legs to make him spring up onto the ledges. Then, his whole body started shaking; he kept tripping over his own feet, several times as a matter-of-fact.

His spirit was somewhat lifted when he saw before him: the largest, shiniest ring he had ever seen. But still, his feet were flailing around, so he collapsed to ground just barely an inch away from the ring. He couldn't move after that.

"M-must…get…ughghgh…" He walked his hand to the edge of the ring. As soon as he touched it, it vanished.

"Wha?…no…**NOOOOO**- ow!" Something hard and metallic bounced off his head. Sonic let his face fall in the dirt.

"Why does this happen to me?" He wailed.

Chip flew back over to his friend.

"Spiky, why are you so upset? Money fell from the sky _just for you_!"

The hedgehog sprang to his feet, but couldn't see what Chip was referring to.

"Piece of cake!" He slapped his paw over his mouth. "Did I really just say that?"

Chip simply ignored the random optimistic outburst. "Look, it's not money _or_ cake! It's a medal; that's totally worth more!"

Chip lifted—or _tried_ to lift—the blue, fluorescent, moon-shaped medal. Unlike Chip though, Sonic held it effortlessly in the palm of his hand. They both examined it, and found no evidence that it belonged to anything. They decided to keep it (and when they did, it vanished), and continued down the dirt path.

"Okay, _that_ was weird," Sonic admitted. "But, at least we know that won't happen again."

_But, of course, we all know that wasn't the case…_

* * *

><p>"If you press the <strong>Z <strong>button while cornering, you can do a drift!"

"No problem!" Sonic punched himself in the face…

…then got hit with a moon medal.

* * *

><p>"If you're jumping and see a lock-on cursor on an enemy, you can do a homing attack! Shake the <strong>Wii Remote <strong>to tackle an enemy!"

"What the heck is a- OW!" Sonic kept getting thrown, somehow, into several flying robots, which exploded right in his face.

"If you chain together **Homing Attacks**, you can make it across places where there's no path."

"But there's a road right be- OW!"

"I like to call it an **Action Chain**!"

"Oh goody, Fido's making up wo- OW!"

"So don't forget about 'em. OK?"

"Yeah, whatev- OWOW!" Sonic went "splat" right into the pavement…

…and got hit by a moon medal.

"Sweet…oof."

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><p>"Ooh! There are rings up ahead! Try and get them, Sonic!"<p>

"What did you think I was going to do?" Sonic gathered all twenty-four of the rings with ease. "Hey, hey! I didn't get hurt this time!"

"Did you see how grabbing rings filled up the **Boost Gauge **at the lower left of the screen? Once it's full, shake the **Wii Remote **to do a Sonic Boost!"

"Ya know what, dude? I'm just gonna ignore you now."

"During a Sonic Boost, you'll send enemies and obstacles flying as you zip right through 'em!"

"…Crap!" When Sonic passed through the robots and the ring, _and_ collided with a fence, he spit out a couple of teeth…

…along with a mo-**okay, this is getting old.**

* * *

><p>"Press the <strong>Z <strong>button to slide, Sonic. You can slip through some _pretty narrow spots_!"

"Oh no." While in mid-dash, Sonic suddenly fell back on his behind, and he skidded right underneath a barricade (seriously though, **who's idea was it to put it in the middle of the road?)** The sound of him sliding under the wall was like nails on a chalkboard, literally, and he made a series of painful wails to accompany it.

"N-n-no problem," he cried…

…and then actually began sobbing.

* * *

><p>"Move the control stick <strong>left <strong>or **right **to do a quick step! With a **Quick Step, **you should be able to dodge even the speediest enemy attacks."

Sonic began whimpering, but luckily, this time he made it through unscathed. No crashing into the robots or fences or walls, no _falling _off the walls into the water, no pieces of metal getting caught in his fur, no tripping over his own feet. Even the moon medal missed him, landing right by his feet.

Sonic let out a hysterical giggle and collapsed to the ground.


	5. Socializing Skills

**No, this story's going to live 'till it's finished. Even if it means all the chapters act as fillers. **

**For this one, I'm probably going to go back and edit it, because I think I forgot something that I was going to add. So if you notice something different about it, obviously that's what I did. **

**Also, everyone who's reading this story, be honest with me. Am I confusing you, angering you, scaring you for life, etc with my writing? I'm sorry if I am. I'm starting to lose my aptitude... ... ... ...**

**And seriously...what's up with these half-assed chapter titles? **

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><p><strong>Socializing Skills<strong>

"Okay, Sonic," Chip announced. "We made it to the vill-"

"**FINALLY! AHAHAHAHA!**"

"Okay…_hey look! _Ice Cream! Let's use your money on it! C'mon, maybe you'll feel better." Chip flew as fast as he could over to the stand, dragging a hysterical hedgehog along with him.

There, they met _The Ice Cream Vendor _who said that the best way to resolve their dilemma was to ask some people around the village (actually his answer to that and all of the questions asked was to have a "Chocolate Chipped Cream Sundae Supreme", but Sonic assumed that's what he _really_ meant).

In the village, they met, literally, only four people.

"Geez, how long has _this_ place been around for?"

Well…at least Sonic had calmed down.

After conversing with some villagers, Sonic and Chip met with the elder of Apotos: Gregorios, a priest who seemed to be _too _occupied to communicate correctly.

"Hello, good Pilgrims. What brings you here?"

"HI, GRA-" Sonic slapped his paw over Chip's mouth in time.

"Uh, hello, g-good sir. We were just wondering, because some boy over there told us you might be able to help, you _do_ know everything, right?"

"I suppose that might be true; yes, what was on your mind?"

"Well, you see…" Sonic began telling the whole story about how he found Chip, but unfortunately, said fairy was making it harder by biting Sonic's glove as he was talking.

"So, have you seen him before?" As soon as he let go of Chip, the little Chihuahua guy kept slapping himself in the silliest way known to man, and apparently animal.

Gregorios observed Chip thoroughly, in silence. Sonic was praying that the priest wouldn't ridicule him after this was over, (he was also praying for him to take Chip to an animal shelter or puppy mill).

"Scholar that I am…," Gregorios continued to stroke his scruffy, grayish beard. "I must admit I do not."

Sonic groaned and managed to control his hand, which had a sudden urge to smack both him and Chip.

"But lately, my thoughts have been _filled_ with the holy shrine. You have come all this way. May I direct you to our holy shrine?"

"Holy shrine? Is that a chur-"

"No thank you, Grandpa!" Chip yelled in Gregorios' face, fogging up the spectacles perched on his pointy nose.

"Alright," Gregorios returned, surprisingly calm. "I can tell you youngsters are way too busy for such things. I myself cannot visit the marvelous building, for I am constantly occupied with wrapping my cranium around the secrets it contains. But, very well, good day to you!" With that, the aged priest shuffled off down the white stone road.

"No, wait!" Suddenly, a strange light engulfed Sonic, and as soon as it went, the hedgehog found himself looking up at the front gate. With a hand slapped over his face, he slowly turned it to his left…waiting a few seconds…he uncovered his eyes abruptly.

"I** found** you!" Chip cheered with his hands waving up in the air.

"_What _did you _do_?" Sonic growled.

The sprite scratched his white, furry tuft on his head.

"Can I have a hint?"

Sonic decided to play along, sporting a disturbing, ear-to-ear grin, which is normally a sign that one is about to lose it.

"Well, _first of all_, we don't know who you are. So, we came _here_, to the _village_, to _ask people_ if they _know _you. That old man we just talked to was about to give us some _**helpful hints **_that might've helped us with _**finding out WHO THE [HECK] YOU ARE**_!"

"Oh, I gotcha now," Chip replied, in his normal voice.

"Yes, and _now _we're going to go back and _apologize to Gregorios_, and get directions to the _Holy Shrine_."

"Holy shrine? Is that a church?"

"I was _going _to ask that," Sonic leaned over Chip, menacingly. "But_** you**_ were the one that prevented me from doing just that."

When Sonic got out of Chip's face, the sprite just stared at him with a blank stare, blinking a couple of times.

"Oh, okay."

After scouting the entire town for about an hour, Sonic finally caught up with Gregorios. Ironically, the humble priest was standing in the same area where he was before, book in hand, staring out at the glittering ocean.

"Hey, Gregorios," Sonic called out, running towards the elder. "We're sorry for earlier, can you tell us wh-"

"Hello, good pilgrims," Gregorios said. "What brings you here?"

"You see, my friend here so _**rudely **_interrupted you while you were giving us directions to the Holy Shrine, and-"

"Ah yes, the shrine! My thoughts are _filled _with it! Unfortunately, I am not able to visit such an astounding place. For you see, I-"

"Yeah, you told us that before," Sonic corrected. "You were going to tell us what and where it is."

"I beg your pardon? I don't believe we have met before."

"Uh, yes we have," Sonic insisted. "Almost an hour ago as a matter-of-fact."

"Hmmm…" Gregorios began stroking his beard.

"Ah," Sonic moaned in annoyance. "Okay…at least you remember him?"

Chip looked at Sonic, and instantaneously proceeded with the actions he did earlier.

"Scholar that I am…I must admit I do not. But could I direct you to the shrine? It is famous among travelers."

"Um, yes…please." Sonic decided not to argue anymore. Everything that happened so far was beyond his comprehension.

But at least he would finally be able to search the shrine.


End file.
